Review: Farmaphobia – No.1 Halloween Attraction

Last night I had the pleasure of being invited to Ireland’s number one Halloween attraction – Farmaphobia!

Based in Causey Farm, Co.Meath it is the spookiest as well as most fun experience I have attended in a while. If you ever wanted to be part of your own horror movie, get yourself down to it before it closes on November 1st.

So you ask, what exactly is it? Constructed on a traditional Irish farm, the farm house, buildings and fields are transformed into different terrifying experiences. If you don’t like to hear people screaming from the minute you arrive to the minute you get back to your car, then you best stay at home.


First up for us was the ‘Field Of Screams’, a giant crop field (think of the movie ‘Signs’ and you won’t be too far off) filled with zombie actors, chainsaws and scary dwellings including an underground tunnel which you must pass through to make it out. From being chased by an undertaker to a scary doll, make sure to wear comfortable shoes because you need to run for your life and there is a lot of mud so don’t fall! ( and before you ask, no I didn’t)

Next we were onto the ‘Scarecus’, an indoor maze of mirrors, terrifying clowns and trickery. I walked into more walls in this place than anywhere else, you want out of there but finding your way can be tricky. Remember the creepy clowns around schools reported on the news in the past few weeks? Well you will meet them all in the one place here.

The ‘Vamporium’ was a nice break from the madness but still equally as scary. At each turn you encounter someone new including a dead woman on the stairs, people popping out of walls and scary rooms you want out of before you even step in.


‘Dead and Breakfast’ brings you on a tour around a very luxurious bed and breakfast set in the heart of the beautiful picturesque….. Nope, it was just as disgusting as the rest of it. A haunted house full of mad staff, people chained to beds and the odd rat running around your feet (don’t worry they are not real, or are they?). Step into the kitchen, laundry, bedrooms and hallway of a freaky house with slides, tunnels and ballooning walls, you must fight to get out alive! (OK, a bit over dramatic but it is heart pounding stuff, especially when you have someone pushing you to always go first 😉 )

Our final experience on the spooky tour was the ‘Mutation Morgue’ were you are put on a bed and pushed into a wall exactly like the real thing, only to be greeted on the other side by a terrifying fright. Make sure to actually get up off the bed and start moving through the morgue, you are not there for a sleep. Blood, guts and butchers are all present in this scare room with another maze of doors, walls and more trapping you in rooms with people you would rather never see again.


When you are done with the 5 scary attractions you can chill out at the bonfire, grab some food and take some awesome pictures with the brilliant Halloween structures and decorations throughout the farm. A well thought out event and one I definitely recommend to everyone this Halloween.

Tickets are still available for this weekend at

Review by @Kenneth_Giles

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